Much will be said and written about this tenth anniversary of the death of Princess Diana, and there is probably nothing original that I can add. No matter. My eyes still tear when I think about her death and my heart still breaks a little for her.
We were visiting my parents when it happened. My father, the news junkie, had heard the announcement when his radio turned on that morning. His first words to me as I came downstairs that morning were "Princess Diana is dead." He might as well have said "Aliens have landed on the front lawn" as much sense as it made to me.
Many people do not understand the impact her death had on many of us of a certain age, particularly women. I certainly had little in common with her. But we had watched her grow from a sad, shy girl to a confident, joyful woman and we understood how exciting it was for her to finally come into her own, to finally begin to figure out who she was. She was just starting to live the life that she wanted to lead and not the life that her parents, the royal family, even her adoring public wanted her to lead. As her confidence in herself grew, so did her beauty and radiance. Yes, she made some foolish choices. But they were her choices to make. And how many foolish choices have each of us made? Thank goodness I did not have a worldwide audience to witness my bad decisions.
And she was dead, just when her life was taking off, and it seemed so terribly terribly unfair then and it still seems terribly unfair now. The only positive that I have ever been able to see in regards to her death is that she will be forever young and beautiful. She will never age, sag or grey - she will be 36 forever. And sometimes I envy her for that.
While I am not sure that I believe in any kind of heaven or afterlife, I think that somewhere, somehow, Diana can see what decent men her sons are becoming and know that it was her doing, and can see that we have not forgotten her. And I think that maybe she finally feels loved.
Friday, August 31, 2007
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Happy anniversary? Hardly.
Two years ago today we closed on our house here in Green Acres, Georgia, and moved in - two long, difficult, sad, disappointing years.
We moved here from Apex, North Carolina. Due to circumstances that are too long and boring to detail here, we decided to move so that J could take a new job. We never thought the move would be this difficult. I had lived in the Raleigh area for 16 years and considered it home, and really did not want to move anywhere. But as a good friend pointed out, we made the best decision we could make at the time with the information we had, and we chose to move. And we thought that, perhaps, our lives had grown a bit stagnant and that a new place and new friends might be exciting.
Our current location is 20+ miles south of the southern edge of Atlanta and is considered to be part of the Atlanta metropolitan area, but most days it seems a world away. We chose to move here because the school systems are rated among the highest in the state of Georgia (I won't comment on that) and because we knew that the job opportunities for J would be better on the southside of the city. But we never thought that it would be as rural and as dull as it is.
Some of our experiences since moving here have not been the fault of the move or the area, such as the deaths of six family members between our two families. But because those deaths happened since moving here, I think we automatically associate those deaths with the move, fairly or not.
We certainly never thought it would be this hard to make friends. Both J and I are friendly, interesting (we think) people and although we have tried and tried to meet people and to make friends, it has not happened. We lived in a friendly neighborhood in Apex but we barely know our neighbors here to wave at them. When we moved in our house, not one person from the cul-de-sac came over to say hello - so much for the mythical southern hospitality. As new people move onto our street, we always make a point to go and greet them, but then we never see much of them again.
J is finally making friends at his new job and I am slowly getting to know some women in my mommies group. I have been a part of a book discussion group for about a year and I like the people there, although I doubt anything outside the group will come out of it. It is as though everyone we meet has plenty of friends and family in their lives, and do not have need for any more. There is one woman in the book group who moved here with her husband not long after we did, so she is also not from here and new. But her children are grown and live elsewhere, so she travels to see them frequently and also travels with her husband on his business trips. So while we have enjoyed each other's company the two times we met for coffee, she just doesn't seem to have time for me.
We are determined to stick this out, at least for the short-term. We need several years to get out of this house what we have put into it, and to ride out this real estate slump. But if we had not bought a house, right now we would be living somewhere else - probably Buffalo, New York. J received a job offer from a company there in the spring but we knew we would take a hit when selling the house and he chose to accept a local job offer. But while winter in Buffalo scared us, the thought of living in a reputedly friendly area appealed to us.
So whine whine whine - happy damned anniversary to us.
We moved here from Apex, North Carolina. Due to circumstances that are too long and boring to detail here, we decided to move so that J could take a new job. We never thought the move would be this difficult. I had lived in the Raleigh area for 16 years and considered it home, and really did not want to move anywhere. But as a good friend pointed out, we made the best decision we could make at the time with the information we had, and we chose to move. And we thought that, perhaps, our lives had grown a bit stagnant and that a new place and new friends might be exciting.
Our current location is 20+ miles south of the southern edge of Atlanta and is considered to be part of the Atlanta metropolitan area, but most days it seems a world away. We chose to move here because the school systems are rated among the highest in the state of Georgia (I won't comment on that) and because we knew that the job opportunities for J would be better on the southside of the city. But we never thought that it would be as rural and as dull as it is.
Some of our experiences since moving here have not been the fault of the move or the area, such as the deaths of six family members between our two families. But because those deaths happened since moving here, I think we automatically associate those deaths with the move, fairly or not.
We certainly never thought it would be this hard to make friends. Both J and I are friendly, interesting (we think) people and although we have tried and tried to meet people and to make friends, it has not happened. We lived in a friendly neighborhood in Apex but we barely know our neighbors here to wave at them. When we moved in our house, not one person from the cul-de-sac came over to say hello - so much for the mythical southern hospitality. As new people move onto our street, we always make a point to go and greet them, but then we never see much of them again.
J is finally making friends at his new job and I am slowly getting to know some women in my mommies group. I have been a part of a book discussion group for about a year and I like the people there, although I doubt anything outside the group will come out of it. It is as though everyone we meet has plenty of friends and family in their lives, and do not have need for any more. There is one woman in the book group who moved here with her husband not long after we did, so she is also not from here and new. But her children are grown and live elsewhere, so she travels to see them frequently and also travels with her husband on his business trips. So while we have enjoyed each other's company the two times we met for coffee, she just doesn't seem to have time for me.
We are determined to stick this out, at least for the short-term. We need several years to get out of this house what we have put into it, and to ride out this real estate slump. But if we had not bought a house, right now we would be living somewhere else - probably Buffalo, New York. J received a job offer from a company there in the spring but we knew we would take a hit when selling the house and he chose to accept a local job offer. But while winter in Buffalo scared us, the thought of living in a reputedly friendly area appealed to us.
So whine whine whine - happy damned anniversary to us.
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